Errands

Errands. Don't like 'em. Will do just about anything to avoid 'em.

I know they're a necessary evil but to me Jesus could have said, "Deliver us from errands" with just as much validity as, "Deliver us from evil."

When the refrigerator is completely empty and the toilet paper is down to the last perforated sheets, I'll begrudgingly get myself to the grocery store. At this point it's with shopping cart in tow. I'm the type who makes one big haul as infrequently as possible.

I once worked with a mother of four daughters, which I'm sure quadruples the requests, who said she always shopped at the Super Stores. "I buy everything there," she told me, "If they sold furniture at the Super Store I'd buy it there, too."

Shopping in the suburbs requires so much stopping and going. Park in the hinterlands. Hike to the store. Then cart it all out to the trunk. Repeat at next location until you can't take it anymore. Then drive home and run back and forth from the car to the kitchen until every last plastic bag is in.

I get overwhelmed just writing about it!

It amazes me when I go to the store in New York. The longest lines are always the people with two or three items. Does that mean they're in here every night? How can they tolerate it?

I always think it should be easier to run errands now that I have a Duane Reade on every corner. How hard can it be to pop inside and pick up a toothbrush? But my feet always want to keep walking. To steer clear of the merchandise.

My disdain for shopping has probably saved me thousands of dollars over the years. Think of all the impulse buying I've deprived myself of. If you don't see it, you don't buy it. I've seen gizmos and gadgets galore in other peoples purses that wouldn't even fit in mine.

I'll leave it at that. I have another errand I'm sure to avoid.